


Forks Are Sharp

by frostiwars



Category: Battle For Dream Island (Web Series)
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe - Human, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheesy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Headcanon, Human, Kinda, M/M, One Shot, Other, Weapons, more like humanoid but shhh, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29318862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostiwars/pseuds/frostiwars
Summary: Sometime before they crash the contest on Earth*, Four and X play their favorite game: Stabbers and Zappers."Can't I be the zapper for once? I always gotta be the stabber!""You can be the zapper when you get your own zappies!"
Relationships: Four/X (Battle For Dream Island)
Kudos: 15





	Forks Are Sharp

**Author's Note:**

> you know, i love current 4 and x but sometimes i want to have some good ol, classic early bfb unsettling 4 and x. i have this dumb idea that x is just as, if not more unsettling than 4, they just dont show it much. also they dont die unless they actually die. which is why this isn't tagged major character death
> 
> human au? its moreso humanoid au i guess. 
> 
> this is extremely stupid and i love it 
> 
> four is 16 years old cuz its 4 times 4 and x is 14 years old cuz its 7 times 2

X skirted around the tree, narrowly avoiding the blast of searing energy heading their way. It was so close in fact that they could hear their pigtails singing slightly. But they were still in the game and that's all that mattered. 

Stabbers and Zappers was a game the two numerical aliens made up for each other. It was called that because one person (usually X) was the stabber and one person (usually Four) was the zapper. It was really simple: whoever died first lost and whoever died second won. Of course, there wasn't really any consequence for losing because the two of them always felt better a few hours (or days) later. Sure, the other numbers might have looked at the couple a little funny when they first came up with the game, but they soon learned to ignore the two and let them have their fun. 

Four almost always won the games because they were, quite frankly, more skilled than X. At least, that's what they'd always say when X complained about losing. Initially they used to say that it was because they were better than X, but that soon toned down into just being better at hurting people, which X preferred. It made them feel like they could actually work to be as good as their datemate. And they were certainly getting there. The two had reached a few draws and X had even won once! And this match, they were determined to keep that up. 

That, of course, was proving to be as difficult as ever. 

"Hehe! I'm gonna win again!!" Four shouted in a sing song manner, firing out shot after shot of zappies. X merely grumbled under their breath saltily and swept out of the way once again. 

"It's not any fair! I barely have any powers! How am I expected to fight when-"

"It is too fair X-" Four dodged their head away from a knife swipe and began to step backwards as X approached- "We agreed on it after all! Besides, it's not like I'm using any of my OTHER powers!" They waggled their finger at X and swept a leg beneath them, giving them time to flee to higher grassy ground. "I'm sure you'll get some powers eventually!"

X let an eerily gleeful rip across their face at that. "Well... now that you mention it-"

X floated 50 feet in the air and disappeared from the blue kid's sight. "H- hey! When did you learn to fly! That's cheating, you didn't tell me!" 

X appeared behind Four, still high in the air and began to hurtle themself and the knife at the other alien. But before they even made contact with the ground, Four turned around (keeping their ponytail on the right side of course) and screeched at X. The yellow kid's momentum was ripped away from them and they crash landed on the ground, still shivering from the sound wave tearing through their body. 

"H- hey-" they wheezed out. "Th- that's cheating- you said-"

"Well you cheated first!" Four stuck their tongue out at X and put on an enormous frown. They then bolted to the tree and began to charge another blast of zappies. 

"Mmmm..." X groaned as they shoved themself to their feet. They could still feel some residual paralysis, but the joy of the battle reinvigorated them. "You never said I had to tell you, so it's not cheating! Not not not!" 

The sound of Four letting out their gurgly murmur of irritation indicated that they were right. X smiled to themself and hid behind a tree parallel to Four's. They had a feeling this would be the last attack, so they had to really make it count. Even if they didn't win, they could still make a show out of it. 

The cool thing about living on a planet of math is that you get really good at calculating things on the fly. So when Four ran out from cover to let out their barrage of lasers, it didn't take much effort at all to send the knife hurtling straight towards their chest. X thought to themself that they should really get into ax throwing. 

Four saw the flying knife a second too late. "Hey! That's totally che- OWIE!" Their shirt stained with dark blue blood and they lowered their hand. "Aw... I was doing so well too." 

"Looks like I win this time!" X popped out from behind their tree and strutted over to their datemate. "Not bad huh?"

"SIGH. I guess not." Four lowered themself to the ground and lay down, slowly losing energy. "But I'm gonna totally demolish you next time. DECIMATE you. DIMINISH you. OTHER THREATENING THINGS. They're all gonna happen to you!" They jabbed a finger at X's face.

"Haha, maybe! But that doesn't change the fact that I won!"

"MmmmmnyehFine." 

X giggled again and lay down next to the extremely bloody Four. "You're lots of fun to play with Four." 

"Mmmmm you too." 

X fake gasped and crawled over Four, looking directly into their eyes. "You complimented me!"

"Yeah well don't make me say it again loser!" 

X giggled and booped Four on the nose. "You're a sore looooser~" They then grinned and yanked the knife out of Four's chest, causing them to flinch slightly. "There, that should make it faster."

Four sighed, for real this time, and placed a hand on X's cheek. "I love you Four-ever!"

"Well," X paused for a moment to think. "I love you five-ever, which is more than four!"

"Ugh, don't remind me. Awww I didn't want that to be the last thing I thought of when I died!"

X smiled and ruffled Four's hair. "Aw I wouldn't worry about it." 

"Nope, too late, you ruined the moment. I'm already deaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad..." Four let out a bunch of gurgling mumbles that devolved into a "bleh." Tiny little black x's appeared in their eyes in place of pupils and they stopped bleeding. 

"Well, that was fun!" X tucked the knife into their pocket and began to drag Four's corpse back to their house.


End file.
